July 2001. Ten years ago. I was staying the summer in Coldwater, MI at my parent’s house. I was helping my dad work on remodeling and building houses for a summer job. I had just graduated from Bethel College with bachelor’s degrees in Biblical Studies and Social Science. I was disappointed that I had graduated without a girlfriend and I was hoping and looking for one (probably desperately). I was signed up to begin Mission Year (a one-year inner-city missions program) in Atlanta that August and I was raising money to be able to do that. I had no idea what I was in for…
At that time I knew that God was calling me to do work that would help those who live in poverty because I knew the Bible commanded me to do so, but I had no idea what that looked like. My idea of the gospel was telling people that they needed to ask God to forgive their sins, believe that Jesus died for them and then they would go to heaven when they died. I believe that I was pretty disciplined spiritually, I read the Bible and prayed daily, memorized scripture and had deep theological discussions with friends. I was rather optimistic about the world and felt like I was going to make a big difference in the city through Mission Year.
Fast forward 10 years to July 2011, after 10 years of living in inner-city neighborhoods. I’m living in the mountains of Costa Rica with my wife Frances and working with the Association for Development through Education. In 2001, I think I could have more easily imagined myself here than in the places where I found myself during the 10 years in between!
In so many ways, that year 2001-2002 changed my life, but the basic calling still remains today - to meet the physical needs of those who live in poverty. However, the approach has changed, the motivation slightly altered, and the expectations of results (read White Messiah complex) curbed. I think I am more humbled today, attempting to walk alongside of those in poverty rather than “help” them and fully recognizing my own poverty.
I am certainly less disciplined spiritually, but at the same time, I have a greater understanding of grace. I have a better understanding of the verse that says, “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” Today I am more vulgar, more pessimistic, and more wary of Christians (especially those in authority) than I was ten years ago, thanks to all I have seen and heard over those years. I am more focused on justice and God’s kingdom in the world in which we live rather than on what comes after death.
In the end, I guess I can answer the pastor’s challenge and say that I have grown (or at least changed) spiritually over the last ten years and that I have not been content to be the same person or Christian that I was before. I hope that I can continue to pursue God, new experiences and new challenges so that I can say the same again ten years into the future.
